Excerpt from The Governess -- Chapter 23 concluded:
And men say women are confusing? Join me on Monday to start Chapter 24, titled Torment.
Ellise ;)
As Creighton made his morning rounds, he was successful in
clearing his troubled mind. He always
found comfort in the outdoors.
Admittedly, he had difficulty sleeping last night and had also arisen
early to refresh himself in the crisp morning air. It always seemed to work, and was now glad
that it had.
But now, to his great
disappointment, he spotted the mesmerizing Lady Charlotte and Mr. Stone from a
distance in conversation as they sat upon their horses. A stab of jealousy instantly pierced his
heart. Jealousy angered him, among other
emotions. Thinking to himself, he asked,
What right do I have to feel this way?
He asked himself over and over why he
was wasting thought upon these tiresome feelings. Surely he had self-control, the ability to
forget whatever he wanted? Her
even?
But…it had not worked last
night.
Impatiently he thought, What is she to me but my obstinate little
governess…that I took advantage of last night, he considered,
sheepishly. He tried to shake feelings
of guilt, yet strong ownership over her, but it seemed he could not.
Not allowing himself to ponder upon
them but for a moment, he commented aloud, “Let them enjoy their ride together
then. Let’s go, Storm!” he shouted to
his winded stallion and angrily rode off toward the stables.
Carly was glad to get away from Mr. Stone, as short as the
duration of their conversation was. After
talking with Joe for awhile, she made her way into the house passing Lord
Huntington on her way upstairs. Instantly
nervous because of their passionate exchange the night before, she slowed her
ascension, staring at him timidly, unsure of what to expect…what to say?
Wearing his usual scowl, he glowered
at her, barking, “Did you enjoy Mr. Stone’s exceptional company?” as he
brusquely passed her descending the stairs.
She stood
looking after him, confused by his words.
Obviously he had seen her with Mr. Stone this morning. Had he assumed that they were riding together? Horrible thought!
Thoroughly confused at her master’s
behavior towards her, one minute yelling the next teasing, and then last night kissing
her, she sighed, and went in search of the children. At least they would be pleased to see
her.
And they
were.
How she reveled their company.
*******
Carly thought of all that had happened since coming to
Huntington Manor. Already very close to
Jonathon and Elspeth, she felt gratitude knowing they had similar tender
feelings towards her. She had been so
relieved to find Jonathon ready to accept her after all her efforts to draw him
closer.
Her master—he was a different
matter. She found her mind wandering to think
on him often during each day, speculating at what he was doing, wondering if he
was happy. Sometimes she would come upon
him in the halls or in a particular room, and he would generally be brusque
with her. At these times, she wondered
at his display of intimacy towards her in the library…that they both seemed to
ignore happened.
What had been his purpose?
His intentions?
Sometimes she would grow angry with
his arrogant assumption that he could just kiss her like he had. Often brooding upon the subject, it seemed as
if it had never happened. At other
times, she could think only of how it felt to be caressed so by his
lips…ooh! Shivers of ecstasy always
accompanied such thoughts.
But mostly, she worried horribly that
she was not living up to his expectations and satisfaction as a governess. Would she be required to find new
employment? When she happened upon him,
he would look at her so intently, she would become embarrassed at his obvious
examination of her. Approaching her in
that proud, dignified way of his, he would proceed as if he would have
conversation with her over something, only to abruptly excuse himself instead.
Often confused by his behavior
towards her, she was forever wishing she understood men more clearly because
she obviously did not understand this man.
She felt that the blame of these awkward moments must somehow lay with her.
And then, of course, her anger
would begin all over again.
Why should she feel to be blamed? He was the guilty party. She would ignore him as he ignored her. Simple.
Back to the daydreaming again…Carly
busied herself writing her letter instead.
Having spent the last year in
mourning, Carly had not had time for any real suitors and did not feel
well-prepared on the subject. Her sister
had even less experience. In her responses
to Susannah, Carly decided not to confide in her about Lord Huntington’s conduct,
knowing Susannah’s tender heart would worry very much about her.
Goodness! She was worried herself.
Carly could picture the lecture she
would receive if Susannah were here, for it only took remembering dear Philippa
for either of them to become sober over the mild flirtations of the
gentry. Oh, the scandal that had ensued
over the newly betrothed Lady Caroline to Philippa’s dearest love, Lord Digby. Carly and Susannah had argued with their father
extensively over the matter, further arguing how horribly treated their friend
had been. It seemed it was not only his
daughters that the vicar must calm, but the whole of the village. Many a long service had been prepared to help
the parishioners find forgiveness in their hearts for such a diabolical deed
done to one of their own. Lord Digby’s
reputation amongst the villagers must be repaired, for not only was it right to
forgive, but much industry depended upon him, whether he was deserving of the
people’s forgiveness or not.
Carly sighed heavily, contemplating
her sister’s sermon that she herself would completely agree with.
So, no.
She would not mention her first incredible kiss.
Ellise ;)
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