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September 1, 2016 UPDATE!

I've had so many of you asking when Elspeth Was Her Name will be released. That makes me so happy! It also makes me sad to tell you that I haven't been working on it for awhile, and I'm sorry to have to admit that to you all (although I'm two-thirds of the way finished!).  My health has been so poor and gets in the way of so much that I am trying to do.  So...the honest truth is, if you would love to see Elspeth out sooner, there's something you can do for me. Please share my work with everyone you know. This would help me tremendously, which in turn, helps me finish writing books.  It takes so much energy and brainpower to work on these stories and, although I love them, I'm sapped.

The good news is -- I plan on finishing Elspeth no later than spring of 2017.  I'm putting a date on it now so that I can push myself to finish on time for my fans.  And if you can't wait til then, click here for something new to read from me.  But I must warn you, it's scary -- not my normal genre.  And it's not even close to Elspeth, but...it's something new.

Until my next update -- be well and celebrate life!  Love others, forgive, and love some more...

Ellise~

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I'm sad...

Work as if everything depended upon you.  
Pray as if everything depended upon the Lord.  


I just wanted to start off with that amazing message.  Now...

If this only affected me, then I’d shut up about it.  Who needs to know except for my Heavenly Father, right?  But it has affected my children for far too long.  So I’m going to swallow my pride and spill the beans.  What am I talking about?  Finances…plain and simple.  My favorite subject…not.  It’s become a dirty word. 

I know so many of you who are in the same boat.  It’s tough.  You stick it out, you put your shoulder to the wheel, and you work hard.  Every single day.  That’s what we’ve been doing for…well, always.  I don’t mind working.  I love being able to work hard.  But…

I’m tired.  I know my sweetheart is tired, too.  Life has a way of making you tired.  I get that.  I enjoy that.  A good day’s work is very satisfying.  There's nothing like it.  And we’ve been so blessed.  Those blessings, along with the amazing people in our lives is what keeps us going.  That, and our faith in a loving Father in heaven who carries us most days.  I feel that.  I’m grateful for those much needed tender mercies.  Otherwise, I think I would have cracked by now.  And boy, I’ve come close…

In spite of all the amazing blessings, we might lose our house now.  What does that mean?  It means moving to a new house, possibly a new community.  It means changes in everything.  It means packing up a full house that fits us perfectly and ridding ourselves of half our stuff (which might not be a bad thing…) so that we can downsize.  Our home is our largest asset, but it’s also our largest bill (unless you add up the medical expenses together into one chunk), so why not rid ourselves of the burden and get a smaller one?  I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times.  We’ve exhausted conversations over and over again about the pros and cons.  Mostly though, I’m just thinking of my kids’ sad faces when they talk about missing their friends, missing graduating from this high school, having to start all over and trying to fit in.  They’ve had one too many disappointments in their young lives, and I’d just like to keep something solid and secure surrounding them—a refuge from the storm.  I realize that home is anywhere you lay your head, but…it’s just hard.  My kids are so good at hiding their disappointments that they almost don’t exist.  Almost…

For example, just two weeks ago, our cellist daughter was supposed to go to State and perform her cello piece.  She had won second place in our entire district!  So cool!  Yay, Calli!  But because we couldn’t afford to pay the $56 dollar entrance fee, and because we couldn’t afford to drive her to Boise and back, she didn’t go.  She didn’t get to perform the piece she had learned or her place that she had earned at State.  *sigh*  So disappointing.  But, it’s life.  We tell our kids that all the time.  And it’s true.  I really believe that.  Sometimes these disappointments grow us into amazing people.  She did try to do everything possible that she could do to make it happen anyway, even after we told her no.  And even after we had exhausted every means in which we had to help, it still just couldn’t happen.  I’m so sorry, Calli, for again disappointing you. 

But what’s the big deal?  Life is hard.  Suck it up.  Honestly, we couldn’t even afford her cello, and so that is when her friends began pooling money together to buy her one all by themselves.  It nearly broke our hearts that her friends would have to be the ones to try and provide this heartfelt desire for our own child.  But what amazing, good girls!  And that story turned out to be quite literally a miracle of this age.  Ask anyone who knows about it.  She was actually interviewed by Idaho Falls Magazine about her experience with The Piano Guys.  You can see her cello story here (pages 42-45). 

We’ve had these amazing miracles in our lives, so why do I keep wanting more?  Why am I such a whiner?  Such a baby?  Why do I keep begging on these social platforms for help?  It’s embarrassing.  I do it because we’re doing all we can physically/mentally/spiritually do ourselves to provide.  And these platforms are extensive in their reach…or have the potential to.  Our children have had a very different life than even me or my husband had growing up.  It makes me very sad.  Honestly, our kids (to their credit) think they have an amazing life.  I’m so, so grateful for this belief.  But because I want to know that I can feed my kids tonight, I want more.  Because I want to dress them in more than hand-me-downs (I’m grateful for them, so don’t get me wrong!), I want more.  I would like to make sure that they have shoes on their feet when they need a new pair, so I still want more.  Is that wrong of me to want those things?  I know that we’re spoiled in this amazing country, and in this plentiful day and age even, but trials are still trials.  My health continues to be an issue.  The medical offices are calling.  The collection agencies are too.  I’m concerned more than ever about my husband’s health since his open heart surgery.  I’m concerned about being here to finish the job of raising our children and leaving them a legacy that is worth something.  He is literally working his heart out for us, and I’m worried about that.  I love him, and so do our children.  We’re not ready to let him go. 

So I keep writing, hoping that someday it’ll somehow make a difference.  I know it does, but not nearly enough.  Not nearly enough!  I need your help, people.  Many of you have come to know me through my writing, a desperate adventure that I never intended taking upon my shoulders, but this desperation became the creator of my own job—a writing career.  It’s embarrassing, for whatever reason, to put myself out there in this personal way.  It’s not natural to me.  I don’t mind the creation process; it’s the sharing that’s uncomfortable to me.  I’m putting myself out there to be ridiculed.  That’s hard for someone like me.  I’m naturally shy.  But my children will always be worth it to sacrifice my pride.  So, I’ll continue to write and be nervous about sharing it. 

Won’t you please (here comes the begging part that I hate so, so, so much…it never seems to end, and I hate that!), please see the way to help me and my little family to stay in our home?  Help us by spreading the word about my books here, and ask your family and friends to seriously support us by sharing this link here to spread the word.  It starts with who we know, but it’s really about who you know.  Imagine how big the circle can get.  Does it really matter that I’m embarrassed, I ask myself?  No.  What matters most is my children.  My pride will never be the same, so what the heck!  I’m begging.  They deserve the best security in life that my husband and I can provide, and so that compels me to ask yet again.  I’ve done the work; so help me let it pay off.  Please, spread the word to everyone you know to share our predicament and help buy my books.  They aren’t that expensive.  But it could really, really make all the difference.  It could help turn our world around. 

Thanks for your ear.

A very embarrassed, humbled Ellise (Ugh.  I’m so sorry!)

Great News!

Not... :(

Just found out (as if I didn't already know...) that I have Atrial fibrillation plus a lower pumping capacity in my heart (that part I did not know). Ugh. 

Of course, I knew something significant was going on, and has been for some time. The rapid beating in my chest, as if a horse was trying to gallop out; the dizziness and light-headedness; the extreme fatigue. All have been there. It has, in fact, made it quite difficult to do what needs to be done. Chest pains, arm pain, jaw pain...yes; have had those too. But when I went into the hospital last Fall with these same symptoms, I was not having a heart attack...thank heavens! Or a stroke either. All in my family medical history. Yikes!

So, to get healthy. Hmmm... That has been the goal and the attempt for years now. 

I've struggled with health problems ever since the cancer treatments. It seems that when I was radiated, they had to get some of my heart as well. There was no getting around it. However, if I had to do things over again, I would have had them miss the heart, regardless of what they 'suggested'. 

Oh, to do things over again. But move forward, we must. 

First, I still have to figure out what is going on in my abdomen. The tests are inconclusive. Images must come next, I believe. 

To think that perhaps I did not appreciate being healthy when I was...it just about kills me. To have those days back would be amazing. I hope I can instill healthy choices in my children since they've been blessed with both parents' wonderful genes...*sigh* But I have to admit that I'll take my trials any day over others that I see out there. That is truly scary.

Here's hope to those who need it most. My best wishes to you all. And, please fight for what you want out of life to the very end! Endure well, and don't ever give up! Our families are so dear and deserve the best from us. Here's to the fight!

Ellise

*Sigh...*

So, this has not been a fun week.  First, I had to go in to the cardiologist and still have yet to do the tests there this next week.  Now, I'm prepping for a real exciting procedure to be completed tomorrow, and I'm on a liquid diet for that purpose.  At least I'm not fasting.  But still, I'm tired of doctors and doctor's offices. 

Uggh. 

*sigh...*