Excerpt from The Governess -- Chapter 9 continued:
As Carly lay in the darkness after putting away all her clothing, she pondered upon the children in the next room, as well as their father. Thinking of the horrible rumors she had heard, along with the events of the night, she trembled. Never had she been handled so by any man. Her fear of him had grown exponentially. Remembering his anger, his strength, his holding her arms behind her back like he had, she snuggled deeper into her warm, comforting covers. As she closed her eyes under her blankets against her fright, she contemplated their quick tempered altercation. As she did so, she felt a most disturbing effect grow and restrict against her breast.
What was it?
She could not figure it out. Carly worked through her memory the best she could as she contemplated each moment of their argument.
There it was again! When he pressed me to him...
Oh, heavens! The feelings she was sensing were completely new to her! Not being able to identify the unfamiliar emotion, she struggled in describing the riot of unease to herself, knowing, nevertheless, that it was not quite fear. Thinking on these feelings made her shiver, goose bumps erupting upon her arms. How disturbing! Immediately, she snuggled a pillow across her face and groaned aloud.
What a man he was! So tall, so handsome, and so very, very strong. His dark hair and sideburns were attractive beyond all means! Even now, she could remember his scent, warm and inviting, the heat of his warm breath upon her face. She shivered once more.
But his eyes!
His eyes had communicated so much more. They not only spoke of anger, but there was…what? A deep…raw…pain. Her fingers yearned to caress his face when she thought of his sadness.
Humph! Why should I think of that?! She threw the pillow away from her face and pounded upon it. His fierce temper was frightening and unkind. For heaven’s sake, he was a grown man and a father! He should know better than to treat any lady such as he had!
Tantrum finished, she sighed deeply again. If only she had met her master under different circumstances, perhaps then they might have been friends. Might have had interesting conversations about who knows what? She might even have imagined how handsome he was and what it would be like to be held in his strong, secure arms, dancing while he smiled down upon her, or strolled in some beautiful moonlit garden.
Did this do any good for her to dwell upon? Carly renewed her interest in pounding her pillow. So much for departed dreams. Never would she be held like that by such a man now that she was a plain governess with a life as part of an extensive staff on an immense estate. Especially his estate.
Sighing a deep, heavy sigh, giving her pillow one last punch, Carly delicately fluffed her pillow and repositioned it behind her head. She thought of Elspeth, a dear little girl with an interesting name. If little Elspeth had not come into her room and bound the wounds growing in her heart with a simple hug and sweet words of encouragement, she was sure she would have left, if not tonight, certainly at first light. Still, she was not sure that Lord Huntington would not call her to his study by daybreak, and instead of introductions to the children, dismiss her without further ado. Nothing could be done about it right now. Except cry more.
“And I shall not become all puffy and red as little Elspeth explained.” Smiling at the memory, she thought she might as well get the best rest she could and look crisp and sharp for the morning. In that, at least, there could be triumph! Whether she would be dismissed or not, at least she would present herself as exceedingly well composed.
‘Pretend the confidence and look your best,’ her parents had always said, ‘and then you’ll find you can handle just about any circumstance with courage and pride.’ Oh how she missed her family! Wishing to have her life back the way it was before her father died and mother got sick, she thought, Oh, to be a child again!
Of course, this encouraged her to think of the life that Elspeth and Jonathon were living. She felt she must do all she could, if she were allowed, to bring to these children a fulfilling and happy childhood. If she were given the chance to enjoy them, and even love them, she would treat them as if they were her own, wanting the very best for them, for this might be the closest experience to parenting she would ever have in her now-changed life. These two little ones deserved nothing less.
Remembering Elspeth’s prayer tonight in their room, Carly put her hand to her heart as it ached at the dear child’s trusting faith and genuine concern for her. They were good children, despite their afflictions.
I hope you are falling in love with these sweet children, Carly and even the arrogant and stuffy Creighton with his wounded heart. Will his heart surrender to kindness and possibly love? Read with me on Monday.
Thanks for reading,
Ellise :)
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