Excerpt from The Governess -- Chapter 10 continued:
Carly entered the study at the appointed hour. With a wink, the butler, Mr. Thompson, closed the double doors quietly behind her.
Carly felt herself tremble slightly as Lord Huntington stood, the look upon his face not enlightening her as to how he was feeling this early morning. He held out his hand, inviting her to sit in the chair opposite of his expansive desk. Carly could hear a clock chiming from somewhere nearby in the house. She thought to herself, at least I am on time. Huzzah!
Worriedly, Carly walked to the chair and gracefully sat down, holding her shoulders back and head held high. Her simple crisp dark navy blue gown edged with miniature delicate white lace looked remarkable on her, at least in Millesant’s opinion. She had fussed over her because of it. The soft rustle of her gown’s fabric was heard as she sat down gently. Looking slowly into Lord Huntington’s eyes, she hesitated only a moment, before being direct in her gaze.
He was dashing in his charcoal jacket and grey pants. Surely behind his immense desk, there would be the ever-present, highly polished black boots. His chiseled, tanned face looked fresh against the crisp whiteness of his shirt and perfectly tied cravat, his presence immensely intimidating. His dark eyes flashed under the black eyebrows that framed them handsomely. His straight nose gave him that ever-present air of arrogance and superiority, but she would allow him his pride if he would only allow her hers. Continuing to hold steady his gaze, she breathed deeply and carefully so that she would not faint.
This girl unnerved him as no one ever had before, and it frustrated him greatly. It was more than her beautiful curves and glorious tresses; it was her shy, gentle nature clashing with her determination to do what she felt was most right, which caused his heart to flip flop in his chest. Noticing purple shadows under her eyes from apparent restless sleep, he felt guiltier.
Shaking his head, he began by sitting down, “First, Lady Blakemore, please allow me to apologize for last evening.” He studied his fingers for a moment before holding her gaze again. “My behavior was quite…inexcusable.” Barely making out his next mumbled words, he muttered, “Thank goodness mother was not here.”
Closing his eyes just briefly, he sighed a heavy sigh, explaining, “I am not accustomed to apologizing, but, I wish to say those very words to you this morning.” With eyes burning into hers, he said, “I am…sorry.”
Staring at him with astonishment, but with great relief nonetheless, she whispered, “Thank you, my lord.”
“I am actually surprised that you are still here. I must say that I am pleased.” She could see in his countenance, sincerity.
She could not help but be sincere back, “The thought had crossed my mind.”
His lips twitched. Nodding briefly, he said, “I am sure it did.” Pulling at his earlobe, he continued, “I believe an explanation would help here in this situation. A little history lesson, if you will.”
Carly nodded her head again in acknowledgment, still wide eyed. Suddenly, she hiccupped, her nervous stomach churning. Oh, please no! Embarrassed, she covered her lips gently with her handkerchief. Her attempt to calm her nerves made her a little pale, while the smell of ink made her a bit nauseous.
Lord Huntington stood. “Lady Blakemore? Are you alright?”
Her fingers played with her lace fretfully as she said, “Yes, my lord, quite.” Do not become annoyed, Carly! Smoothing her skirt nervously, she stammered, “Please… continue.” The change in him this morning was beyond belief!
Her pallor concerned him. Slowly, he sat down. Continuing to watch her attentively, he explained further, “I will admit to you that I have had little involvement with my children in the last several years since…well…since before their mother died. But I do care for them, very much. I provide for their needs and wants and have made sure they are healthy and well-cared for. Their mother was…was…”
Lord Huntington suddenly seemed troubled, angry.
His hand raked through his dark hair impatiently as he blurted, “She was unkind to them.” He cleared his throat saying, “And so I have attempted to shelter them from pain or unkindness from caregivers…” He randomly reorganized things upon his desk while he thought through his words, “…Shelter them from those that they would grow attached to that are unworthy of their love, you see.”
His eyes, back upon her, penetrated her focus. “It was my wish to carefully study you before allowing you to meet them. They have felt the loss of love and affection acutely. It was my desire to get a feeling for you myself, before exposing my children to you, and possible greater heartache for them.” Looking sternly at her, he asked, “Do you understand?”
Sympathetic perspective dawning a little, she said, “I believe I do, my lord.”
“I do not expect you to agree with my methods. However, I stand by them, and require you to as well, regardless of your disagreement.”
Carly’s hackles were up. Calm yourself…calm…
“Now,” the conversation changed, “is there anything that you desire to say before we move forward?”
Her nerves were shot! What could she say? I find you a loathsome pig, despite your incredible shoulders?! She hiccupped again! Oh, would her discomfort never end?
Did she dare tell him of last evening? The noises she had heard. Why not wait to see how things go? she thought. She shook her head, no.
Creighton felt a weak moment of empathy for this shy, determined creature. What must it feel like to be in her situation, in a new place with strangers organizing her life for her? Pressing forward, he said, “I wish to know a few things from you first, before I have my children brought in this morning.”
Gulping, Carly said, “Certainly. So…you intend to keep me?”
“Yes. Of course.”
Hope began rising in her heart, that she would, after all, get to be with these darling children. The mad beating of her heart raced faster.
Hesitating, he said, “I have sensed from you a strong, yet gentle and…loving nature.” He cleared his throat. “Would you be willing to share yourself in this way with my children?”
So, that is what he thinks of me? I am shocked! “Y…yes, my lord, of course. I will always be myself with your children.” She could not stop her heart from pounding. It felt as if it would burst from her chest.
“Will you punish them?”
“My lord?” Incomprehension showed upon her face.
“Will you withhold from them…love…if they do wrong?” Intent eyes and something else—pain—focused absorbedly upon her.
“What?! Of…of course not, sir! I would never do that!” What was he thinking?! “I do believe in discipline and would do according to my own conscience in that respect, but I do not feel that withholding love has ever helped anyone…be good…sir.”
A look of relief covered his face, and he said, as he sat back in his chair, “I am awfully glad to hear that, Lady Blakemore. Thank you.” Wavering again, he continued, “This is my greatest desire from you that if you must discipline, do so with fairness…and love.”
His words seemed so contrary to how he acted towards the subject of his own children. Not being able to help herself, Carly blurted out, “I do agree. But if you truly believe in fairness and love, how fair is the love you are withholding from them by being absent in their lives…my lord?” Breathing hard, she knew this would anger him, yet it must be asked.
Suddenly standing and looking upset at her over the desk, he could see that it had taken all her nerve to ask this honest question of him, for she was pale again, holding her handkerchief against her lips. Angry, yet respecting her honesty—something different from women of his society—he sat down and rubbed his chin, his teeth gritted together. Refocused upon her, he said, “You are extraordinarily honest with me. I would have you be so. But I must warn you that you wear my patience thin.” Gulping wide-eyed, the young governess nodded her head. Stating with no discussion about the subject, he said, “You will cease this line of questioning me.” Eyes were firm and eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her. Slowly, she nodded her head in reluctant agreement.
What do you think about the relationship between Lord Huntington and Miss Blakemore?
Join me on Friday for more from this scene.
Thank you, as always, for reading with me today!
Ellise :)
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